do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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