I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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