let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
