You really coming over, don't trick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
