But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
