Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
