Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize