it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
