I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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