my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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