For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
