she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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