Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize