He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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