3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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