Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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