Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
