The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
