It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
now i know why i became what i already was.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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