Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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