I think i peed on brittanys purse
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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