shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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