Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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