we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
