I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This baby is an asshole
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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