ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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