Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
