Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
