and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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