pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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