I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
