You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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