whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
