Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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