so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I came so hard my ears popped.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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