:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
