Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
