I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize