I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize