the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
