So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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