Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
