You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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