Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just cut my nipple shaving
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
