Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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