it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
