I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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