you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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