please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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