so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
