Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
