Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize