New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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