yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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