you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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