i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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