I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
