this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
