remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
tell me about the eggs
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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